If you’re considering booking a family photoshoot but there’s one small thought stopping you…
“But what if my child just doesn’t cooperate?”
Welcome. You are very much not alone.
Parents tell me this all the time.
“They won’t sit still.”
“They never smile for photos.”
“They’re really shy around new people.”
“They’ll probably refuse to do anything you ask.”
“My two will definitely start fighting.”
And my personal favourite:
“Good luck.”
Usually delivered with the slightly haunted expression of a parent who has previously attempted to get everyone looking vaguely pleasant for the annual Christmas card.
Here’s the thing though.
I don’t need your child to cooperate.
I need them to be themselves.
And those are two very different things.
Your child doesn’t need to perform for my camera
I think sometimes we still have this idea of a family photoshoot where children are placed in exactly the right spot, told to look at the camera and instructed to smile.
And yes, I’ll usually try to get you that lovely photograph where everyone is together and looking towards me.
Grandparents bloody love those.
But it isn’t the only photograph I’m looking for.
I want the cheeky grin.
The belly laugh.
The way they cuddle into you when they’re feeling unsure.
The ridiculous face they pull when I ask them not to smile.
The sibling relationship that can go from adorable to attempted murder and back again within approximately 14 seconds.
That’s your family.
And that’s what I want to photograph.
What if my child won’t smile?
Then they don’t have to.
Seriously.
One of the quickest ways to make a child stop smiling naturally is to have several adults standing around saying:
“SMILE!”
Add in the occasional “No, a NICE smile” and frankly, none of us are having a good time.
Some children need a little while to warm up. Some are naturally more serious. Some are suspicious of the strange woman with the enormous camera who has just appeared in their lives.
Fair enough.
So we give them time.
We chat. We play. We do something else. I might photograph someone else for a while and let them watch.
And very often, the photograph parents were worrying wasn’t going to happen simply… happens.
No battle required.
What if they won’t sit still?
Even better.
Because sitting perfectly still isn’t particularly high on my list of requirements either.
We can walk.
Run.
Explore.
Play.
Tickle.
Dance.
Tell terrible jokes.
Find things.
Blow bubbles.
And occasionally deploy whatever random object turns out to be the greatest thing in the world that day.
The aim isn’t to stop your child behaving like a child long enough for me to photograph them.
It’s to create opportunities for brilliant photographs while they’re busy being one.
What if they just want Mum or Dad?
Then Mum or Dad gets involved.
There is absolutely no rule saying your child has to stand three feet away from you on their own because we’ve booked a photoshoot.
If they need a cuddle, give them one.
If they want to sit on your knee, brilliant.
If they’re happier holding your hand, we’ll work with that.
Because while you’re thinking, “Oh no, they’re clinging to me…”
I’m seeing the way their head fits underneath your chin.
Their little hand wrapped around yours.
The expression they make when you whisper something in their ear.
The way you make them feel safe.
Those are photographs you’re going to want one day.
And what about siblings?
Ah yes.
Multiple children.
Because obviously getting one small human to do something wasn’t challenging enough. 😂
Again, I’m not expecting siblings to suddenly behave like tiny professional models just because I’ve picked up a camera.
They might cuddle.
They might giggle.
They might refuse to touch each other.
One might wander off.
Someone may become furious because their sibling is apparently looking at them.
We work with it.
Sometimes I’ll give them something to do together rather than asking them to pose. Sometimes I’ll get them moving. Sometimes I’ll photograph them individually for a bit and come back to the sibling photograph later.
The important thing is that we don’t turn getting the photograph into a battle.
I have a plan. Your child probably has another one.
And that’s okay.
I go into every family session with ideas. I know the combinations I want to capture and the photographs I’m looking for.
But I also know when to abandon Plan A.
Because I’ve photographed enough children to know that stubbornly pursuing a photograph that clearly isn’t happening is usually the fastest route to nobody enjoying themselves.
Sometimes the thing that works is completely different from what I had planned.
And quite often, those are the photographs I love most.
Please don't apologise for your child
This is a big one.
You don’t need to apologise to me because your child is shy.
Or energetic.
Or needs a break.
Or doesn’t want to smile.
Or wants their favourite toy in the photograph.
Or has decided that today is apparently the day they’re going to communicate exclusively in dinosaur noises.
I photograph real children, not catalogue models.
And I genuinely mean it when I say that my family sessions are relaxed and child-led.
I’m not judging their behaviour.
I’m watching it.
Because somewhere amongst all that glorious unpredictability are the moments I’m looking for.
So… what if my child really doesn't cooperate?
Then we’ll still make photographs.
They might not be exactly the photographs you imagined before the session.
They might be better.
Because years from now, I don’t think you’ll look back and wish your three-year-old had stood slightly straighter and smiled more obediently.
You’ll remember their cheeky little face.
The way they couldn’t keep still.
The toy they took absolutely everywhere.
The ridiculous laugh.
How tiny their hand looked inside yours.
You’ll remember who they were.
And that’s the bit worth photographing.
Ready for a family photoshoot without the pressure?
If you’ve been putting off family photographs because you’re worried your children won’t behave, won’t smile or won’t sit still, you can officially stop worrying about that bit.
Bring me your shy ones, your wild ones, your serious ones, your comedians, your Velcro children and your tiny agents of chaos.
We’ll work it out together.
