There’s something I notice in almost every family’s camera roll.
Thousands of photos of the kids.
Hundreds of photos of dad asleep on the couch.
At least one blurry dog nose.
Possibly a catastrophic “look what the baby did” poonami picture.
But mum?
Almost nowhere to be seen.
And honestly? It makes me a bit sad.
The Sad Truth
I can’t tell you how many mums have said to me:
“I’ve realised I barely exist in our family photos.”
Turns out they’re not imagining it.
A survey of more than 500 UK mums found that 58% say they are rarely or never pictured with their baby during the first year of their child’s life.
And honestly, I believe it.
Because mums are usually the ones behind the camera.
According to the same survey, 88% of mums say they are the main photographer in the family. They’re documenting the milestones, the cuddles, the first ice cream, the funny faces, the first day of school, the sleepy buggy walks and the “awww look at them together” moments.
Meanwhile dads…
Well… dads tend to reach for the camera when:
- someone has fallen asleep sitting upright
- the toddler has covered themselves in Sudocrem
- the dog is wearing sunglasses
- or something has gone hilariously wrong
And listen, I say this with love. Men and women are often just wired a wee bit differently when it comes to memory keeping.
Mums are usually trying to preserve a feeling.
But It's Not Just Logistics
But it’s not just logistics.
A lot of mums avoid photos because they don’t feel great in themselves.
The survey found:
- 44% avoid photos because they’re unhappy with how they look
- 34% simply forget to include themselves
- 31% feel frustrated their partner doesn’t think to take photos of them with their children
And honestly? I get it.
Motherhood is exhausting.
You’re often surviving on cold tea, broken sleep and leftover fish fingers. You might not feel like yourself physically or emotionally. Add social media pressure into the mix, where everyone online seems to have glowing skin, matching beige linen outfits and an immaculate kitchen, and suddenly stepping in front of the camera can feel incredibly vulnerable.
So mums wait.
“I’ll do it when I lose a bit of weight.”
“When the baby sleeps through.”
“When I’ve had my hair done.”
“When life feels less chaotic.”
But Here's The Thing
But here’s the thing.
Life with children IS chaotic.
That’s the magic of it.
The sticky hands.
The messy house.
The toys everywhere.
The toddler who won’t wear trousers.
The baby who only wants mum.
That’s the chapter you’re in right now.
And years from now?
Your children won’t look back at photos and think:
- “Mum looked tired.”
- “Her hair wasn’t done.”
- “She should have waited until she felt more confident.”
They’ll see:
- the way you looked at them
- the way you held them
- the safety
- the love
- the fact that you were there
Children don’t care whether you looked perfect. They care that you were there beside them.
Photos become proof.
Proof that you showed up.
Proof that you loved them fiercely.
Proof that they were adored.
I don’t want mums to feel invisible in their own family story.
Because one day these photographs won’t just matter to you. They’ll matter to your children
The Good News
It doesn’t need to be complicated to change it.
Hand someone else the camera
Tell your partner or your pals outright:
“Please take photos of me with the kids too.”
They are not mind readers. Unfortunately.
Use the Timer
Not every photo needs to be professionally lit and styled. Prop the phone up. Get in the frame. Take the selfie.
Focus on presence, not perfection
The messy house. The baby sick. The unironed clothes. The chaos.
That IS this season of life.
And someday it’ll probably be the bit you miss most.
Print the photos anyway
Not just the “perfect” ones. Print the ones where your child is looking at you like you hung the moon.
Those are the ones that matter.
Book the photoshoot
Not because you need to look perfect.
Not because your children need to behave flawlessly.
But because you deserve to exist in your family memories too.
That’s why my family sessions are relaxed, playful and pressure free. No stiff posing. No fake smiles. Just real connection and moments that actually feel like your family.
If you’ve been waiting until you feel more ready, more rested, more confident or more “yourself” to step into the frame…
Maybe this is your sign not to wait.
Your children already think you’re wonderful exactly as you are.
And one day, they’ll be so grateful you were in the photos too.
Ready to get back in the frame?
Whether it’s a full family session, a newborn shoot or a simple mummy-and-me session, I’d love to help you create photographs your children will treasure one day.
Because you deserve to be part of the story too ❤️
